05 Jan Emotional Strength during a Relationship Breakdown

Emotional strength is what is needed when you wake up in the morning, only to find that, at some time in the future, everything you have taken for granted may be taken away due to a relationship breakdown.

You may find yourself walking around and sinking into despair because you are losing the home that you love, and/or you are no longer able to see your children every day, as they may be living in a different household with the absent partner.

Despair is the unknown, and the inner challenge is to keep going when all seems so dark and unreal: it is that balancing act between keeping going and facing a daily struggle.

There is a lot more to a relationship breakdown than people realise. You act as though you are fine and put on a brave face for the children: they do not see you crying in the night and, perhaps, turning to alcohol for comfort when there is none to be had anywhere else.  

You ask yourself:

‘All those people with perfect lives – will they judge me?’ ‘What will the neighbours and the other parents at school think of me?’ ‘Will they see me as a failure?’ ‘What will my work friends say, and how will I get through this?’

So many questions fill your mind: ‘my parents have been married forever – how do I tell them?’ ‘If I do get divorced or separated, what does my future look like?’ 

If a person is to move on in their life, then all these issues must be overcome.

It is all too easy to ‘pull the trigger’ and say that it is over. In these situations, a person’s inner strength is always there, and there is light at the end of the tunnel.

To avoid another endless round of litigation, the difficult decision over who sees who at Christmas, birthdays and holidays must be compromised over. If divorce is the outcome, you must set your goal for a lot of inner strength.

Seek out a support network for yourself… Do not beat yourself up, remember that everything happens for a reason, and you are not always in control.